#reverb10 Day 10: Wisdom

12 12 2010


PROMPT: Wisdom Wisdom. What was the wisest decision you made this year, and how did it play out?

Wisdom is one of those words that we just aren’t supposed to apply to ourselves.  It’s reserved for our elders, those that have seen more, done more, lived through the depression, had to make their own peanut butter from peanuts and corn bread from corn, had to have a silent strength as their husbands beat their children and then somehow tape the pieces back together.  Not us.  Even in middle-age we often act as adolescents.  Where is the wisdom?

Wisdom is like beauty: we either feel that someone has it of they don’t, but there are so many layers and flaws to both and we tend to project those types of traits on people that we don’t really want to understand or acknowledge.

Once in awhile, I notice a wise moment when I tell someone a truth that I am observing and it really resonates with them, but often I say those “truths” only to find out that I am just talking outta my arse.  So, wise?  Or just lucky?

I can’t think of anyone that I know that is wise in that all encompassing way.  I would probably be too intimidated to be friends with someone like that anyway.  I do know lots of smart people- street smart, computer smart, geek smart, people smart, healthy smart, power smart, art smart, intuitive smart-but I don’t know anyone wise.  Even my almost-90-yr-old-unofficially-adopted grandma, Belva, is very smart and witty and understanding and open-minded, but wise?  Not so much.

So, since I can’t really touch wisdom, I WILL say that I have done a couple of SMART things this past year, including getting control of finances, extracting from drama and speaking up for myself when all other tactics seemed to fail.  But maybe the smartest thing that I did was put a focus on my health.

I went to the Doctor and had the blood drawn and numbers run for the first time.  I found out that my cholesterol is only 177 (cue one of those commercials for the cholesterol lowering drug where the person tells everyone that he passes his cholesterol numbers) and that I have hypothyroid-ism.  That always seemed like such an excellent “ism” to have, but I never had it tested.  So, of course, there’s a drug for that and for the first time in my life I have Normal Hunger.  And the weight is coming off.  And running is fun again.  And thinking about things besides food is possible.  And the monkey is contemplating jumping off of my back.  And it feels good.  For the first time.

Wise is an aloof star, shining, inspiring and out of reach, but smart- sometimes I can touch that.