Every year is the year that I am going to travel, run a marathon, go back to school, landscape my whole yard, pay off debt, slow down, get more grounded, find the “true love”, lose weight, blah, blah, blah.
And at the beginning of every year, I pick a theme. The theme for 2010 countered almost everything in the paragraph above: Home. In the midst of a winter of extending myself in ways previously unknown as possible, I decided that once the project, relationship, travel, work, spending were complete I would stay Home. Home became my garden, my bank account, my friends, my son, my body, my heart as well as the house. This is very out of character. Home has always been first on the neglect list.
And it worked. I feel solid again. The base is there to stand on to start reaching out into those various directions.
I didn’t travel (after March), but I did save money to book a trip to CO in Feb2011.
I didn’t run a marathon, but I did just complete a 10K.
I didn’t go back to school, but I do have a better sense of what I want to do and found a tool to help my brain function a bit better.
I didn’t landscape the yard, but I did keep up on the maintenance and planted a little herb garden and 2 pots with flowers sat outside the front door.
I didn’t pay off all of my debt (those student loans are quite the ball & chain), but the house did get refinanced for a lower interest rate and the credit card (was) paid off and I actually MADE A BUDGET!!
I DID slow down and get more grounded (literally).
I DID find a true love, but let her go, knowing that I wasn’t her true love.
I DID lose weight, but more importantly, I finally went to the Dr and found out the numbers. With the focus on health, the weight is coming off.
And I DID do blah, blah, blah…and it was WONDERFUL and CALM and FUN and FRUSTRATING and NOT WHAT I EXPECTED and OK.
I didn’t intentionally pick this theme, but FRIENDSHIP became increasingly important. In January2010, I would hear a song and think of someone that should hear it. And then another person and a couple more tunes. And later another song would prompted the same thoughts. I started writi
ng them down in my planner in hopes that one day, I’d make one of those cheesy mixed CDs that no one else really wants to hear, but the maker LOVES!!! It’s December, I’ve been adding to the list all year and the CD is in the works (there’s actually one burning as I type). It’s going into some of the (late) holiday cards destined for homes where they MAY POSSIBLY not end up in the trash BEFORE being listened to. 😉 I’m being kind of snarky, but while it will feel good if I get a couple of “loved the songs-thanks”, really, this is about me and feeling good about getting a message of gratitude out there.
(Sidenote: The CD ends with “Angelus”. That’s the one song not about friendship, but about my 17 yr old passing into adulthood. When he was a baby/toddler and would wake up in the night or have a hard time going to sleep, I put “Angelus” on repeat and just rocked him. It worked every time and today links me to that time and place and the feel of his face in my neck and his little butt resting on my arm and feeling his body calm, loosen, weigh down with each rock. It links me to the time when I could do that for him. Since then I’ve had to let him find more and more ways to rock his own soul.)
Theme for 2011? Don’t know yet. Maybe Integration.
As a special “Gratitude to Reverb10”, if you want a copy of the CD (yes, you, even if I don’t know you, and no, you don’t have to be doing reverb10), just send me your name & address. (I’ll delete any comments that contain name and address after the CD is sent.) I’ll make about 25 extra copies. It really IS one of the best mixes (IMHO) and I would really love to send these out – free, no strings, you don’t even have to say “loved the songs-thanks”. 😀 The world just seems to be a bit better place when we share what we love, and Reverb10 is a prime example of that.
~enjoy the journey~ 
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