#reverb10 Day 4: Wonder

4 12 2010

PROMPT: Wonder. How did you cultivate a sense of wonder in your life this year?

Wonder? Wonder?!?

won·der  [wuhn-der]

(dictionary.com)
–verb (used without object)
1.to think or speculate curiously
2.to be filled with admiration, amazement, or awe; marvel (often fol. by at)
3.to doubt
–verb (used with object)
4.to speculate curiously or be curious about; be curious to know
5.to feel wonder at
–noun
6.something strange and surprising; a cause of surprise, astonishment, or admiration
7.the emotion excited by what is strange and surprising; a feeling of surprised or puzzled interest, sometimes tinged with admiration 

8.miraculous deed or event; remarkable phenomenon
—Idiom
9.for a wonder, as the reverse of what might be expected; surprisingly

won·der

(urbandictionary.com)

1. A way out of reality that is always forgotten or never goes away
2. when someone wish to know something
3.When you stick your finger up your butt hole and smell it. If it doesn’t stink then its a wonder.

(kinda like that last one-ha!)  Well, I don’t know that I HAVE cultivated a sense of wonder this year, in fact, just the opposite.  In the past, I’ve relied on photography to capture my awe and marvel, but even if the camera is remembered AND any photos are taken AND they are even a tiny bit interesting, I haven’t been processing them and have just sort of given up on getting That Shot (you know the one).   I’m not sure, as I write this, if I should or do feel sad about this or not.

I’ve had a very strong sense of wonder this past year when being surprised or curious about why people vote…certain ways…that aren’t in their best interests, but that doesn’t have to be cultivated – at all.

My favorite definition above is “a way out reality that is always forgotten or never goes away” (urban dictionary always gives that special spin).  I’m wondering if there’s a typo in that definition or if it is meant to be so contradictory and sort of deep (in that “just got out of a very relaxing hot bath” sort of way).

So, how have I cultivated a way out reality in 2010?  I haven’t.  I’ve paid bills and been responsible and curbed the travel (exploration) to get out of debt and focused on doing my job well and losing weight and exercising and eating healthy and giving my 17 yr old son the best guidance that I can to turn him out to the world a somewhat decent human being.

Wonder gets swallowed daily with the adderall tablet that helps me put all of those “ands” in that last sentence.





#reverb10 Day 3:Moment

4 12 2010

PROMPT: Moment. Pick one moment during which you felt most alive this year. Describe it in vivid detail (texture, smells, voices, noises, colors).

The run was hard: first snowfall, slippery, breathe in the cold, deep, wake up all of the little villi lining the lungs, keep the legs under control, don’t fall, so much white, this 4 miles feels like 6, thank-you body each step.

She gets home with no injuries, but some very tired muscles and a cold nose.  As a chill waves through her body, she turns the faucet all the way to the red then back into a little bit of the blue and pours some cheap hydrangea scented (but chemically created) body wash into the tub. The tubs fills with scalding water as she peels off the sweat soaked cloths that suddenly became very cold against her skin.  The nakedness feels a bit warmer: book, towel, what else? nothing, just get in, stop stalling, feet first, go slow.

She brushes the water with a toe and smiles realizing that it’s not too late to add a bit more cold water, but knows she won’t as both feet plant solidly in the heat and she gasps: I can do this, I can do this, I need to do this.

Arms on either side of the tub, holding tight and controlling movement of her body as her legs had done only minutes before when jogging over ice, she lowers into the water and feels every cell burn when slowly touching the water, each inch below tingling from the heat and each inch above shivering in the cold air.  She can feel it all, is aware of it all, is connected to every muscle controlling and every bit of skin reacting and filling with blood.  As her back is allowed to descend, the distinct line between air and water travel up to her neck: slow down, feel it, feel the hair stand up, feel the pain, the relief, the sharp little spikes, the stings, the calmness of the feet and legs that have had time to acclimate, feel the heat again with every movement, move slow.

As she takes a deep warm breath and slips into the womb of the bathwater, she is very much alive.