Heading west

13 06 2008

It’s a pilgrimage to my mecca. The annual trip to Colorado.

I go for the mountains and old friends and music.
But mostly, I go for Jill (the cake) and Paul (the icing).

I would like to pay an homage to each, but only have 2 hours to pack and clean before heading out. We pick our friends because they reflect something within ourselves.

Jill reflects the best of what I would like to see in myself, while still being real enough to accept a flaw here or there. Sometimes I don’t feel that I know her at all after all of these years…I’ll learn some fact or preference and be completely surprised…but in a deeper sense we are very connected and just understand each other. Maybe this is it: We both have (different) ideals of who we would like to be and what we want to represent, but we both know and accept that we fall short of that in our humanity and accept that in ourselves and each other. There’s even a beauty in it. I don’t know: I just admire and love her and am so thankful she stills puts up with my imperfections and constant chiseling to catch peeks into and through her outer shell

Paul helps me see the geeky, sincere, intelligent parts buried deep within myself. And he reminds me of how much I love to discover things about life and the excitement that breaks through when I discover a new person, place or idea. At the same time, I get nudged to accept and embrace my little social faux pas when bursting with the newness. Paul gets excited…no, he gets giddy…and I let his joy ooze into my pores. His marriage represents the possibility in what seems so impossible on the outside and keeping doors open that may seem closed. Paul says that he’s “been jonesing’ for the dayna”.
Your hug is on its way, Paul!

(And then there’s Janene who’s living in a teepee with a cell phone and computer. And Matt, Jill’s husband and father of her bun-in-the-oven, who wakes me up with Rocky Mountain High and cooks us all egg burritos for breakfast, is really the best host I have ever met and has almost as much energy as Jill. And Duck, who is going to Festival with us. And Sarah and Chris and Marcus, former co-workers who also moved west and settled. And I won’t even start on all of Matt & Jill’s friends I have met over the years.)

I haven’t even gotten to the mountains and the music. Maybe I’ll cover those when I get back. IF I come back….there’s a nanny position opening up in Golden in a few months. ;o)


just wondering

4 06 2008

when will i learn to
~take a deep breath
~slow down
~pay attention
~be myself
when I’m nervous or excited?

especially when I’m nervous or excited

and before i fall on my face and wonder “what happened?