Kite Runner

I love a good story. One that pulls me in and especially one that can carry me to another culture, another place, another understanding.

Last night, I found that: “Kite Runner” by Khaled Hosseini.

I came across the book after hearing about the controversy involving the child actors from Afghanistan and the release of the movie.

So, I checked it out from the library, expecting to read a chapter or two and then set it aside. That happened the first night, but the second night…I literally couldn’t put the book down and didn’t get tired until around 3 AM. I woke up a couple hours later, got ready for the day, and thought to myself “I’ll just read one chapter and then head out.”

Well, I finished the book…and arrived at work a bit late.

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Here’s the scene:

You have a nose pain for a few days that just comes on suddenly. You think it’s due to the cold you had or something, but it just doesn’t go away and is VERY distracting. So you make an appointment to go to the doctor to get it checked out the next day. That night, someone tells you to jump up and down three times, spin around and clap your hands twice to make your nose pain will go away.

So you do.

And it does go away.

But you still go to the doctor just to make sure there’s nothing wrong. And she asks: “So, why are you here?”
You reply: “To make sure there’s nothing wrong.”
“Does your nose still hurt?”
“Well, no, it feels great. I jumped, spun and clapped and everything’s okay.”
“So, why are you here?”

That’s how I feel about the fall slump and going into therapy.  The therapy has only validated that my “nose” is actually ok, and I just need to make some physical modifications because my body is naturally resopnding to environmental conditions.  Pretty simple.   I’m in a good place…just need the light.

Thanks for all of your support, girls!
Can you all just kick me in the ass next Sep and tell me to get out walking during the day?
Or remind me that it’s time to schedule a beach vacation?

Why are we always trying to deny our deep fundamental connection to the world around us?

An amazing day

Today has been pretty damn cool.

The sky was clear and weather warm enough to take the top off of my car.

I had my second therapy appointment in the morning. It was ok, but I’m not really getting much out of it and don’t feel much of a connection with the therapist. I’ve gotten much more pratical benefit from reading “Winter Blues”. I’m trying to get light at every moment possible. A friend and I started last week jogging at lunch time and I can’t believe how much better just doing that makes me feel. Now, to get the carb cravings under control.

After that is when things played like a few scenes from a movie.

Therapy: Round 3

It grabbed ahold again.

For the past 2 years I was able to get through the winter by anticipating and then relishing in the afterglow of the trip to Tanzania. Not this year. It just hit…hard. So, since I can’t afford to just fly away somewhere, I’m going to face it. I started therapy again on Tues. The first two times were after the divorce and during the end of another significant relationship…both, by the way, ended on Nov. 7 after a very depressing Oct. (There were other issues, of couse, I’m just pointing out the coincidence of the date.)
Such a pattern.

A couple of years I went to tanning beds. I know…evil in the worst way…and just not at all in line with who I am. But I did feel better.

This year, I’m going to change my approach and embrace the drive for inner reflection and the necessity of change.

I’m in Chapter 1 of “Winter Blues” by Norman E. Rosenthal, MD.   A skim of the book has surprised me with the number of topics that touch on something I’m experiencing & just came down on myself for: eating, carbs, tired, anxious, edgy, sad, withdrawn.

He evens discusses a paleolithic diet! Maybe I’ll finally jump on your wagon, Janene! But expect lots of question e-mails from me. Paleo brownies….yummmm……I still rememer.

The therapy session was ok. Really just me spilling out the life story. I would laugh through explaining some of the harder parts. She asked if these things were difficult at the time and I said yes. She said “But you’re laughing.”

I replied: “Laugh or cry…what do you want?”